Go Jump
by Robert Pack

“By Darwinian standards I am a horrible mistake…But I am happy to be voluntarily childless, ignoring the solemn imperative to spread my genes. And if my genes don't like it, they can go jump in the lake.”—How the Mind Works, Steven Pinker

Inspired by your “mistake,” I'll order mine
To do the same. So, Steven, watch them race
Like kids along a dock, grab their rough knees,
Plunge in ass first. June heat provides this place

(Approved with my deliberate assent)
Beside a willow tree, for them to take
A holiday from replication's work,
Disturbing their reflections in the lake.

And thus I liberate myself to will
The self-willed life high thought aspires to live
While they are splashing in wild play,
Released from the solemn imperative

That kept me hot in sexual pursuits,
A robot driven proud by jealousy.
And while they frolic in fresh merriment,
I choose autonomous philosophy,

Unburdened of Darwinian desires,
And make peace with base instincts that have led
Me to the edge, emboldened by your book
That claims my mind has power to slay the dread

Old dragon of grim evolution's laws.
So when my genes return from their long swim,
Have dried their little backsides in the sun—
Fathered from leaping laughter at your whim—

What voluntary metaphor can you
In happiness paternally provide
To send them packing home inside my blood
Where lust and mirthless vanity reside?


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